Ryan's Newborn Pictures

A couple of days ago we got to have Christie come over for a photoshoot with the kids. She did an amazing job...she is so talented! We all had so much fun watching her little tricks with a tiny newborn. The kids loved her too. In fact, thanks to Christie, Aimee is now an aspiring photographer. She's done two "photoshoots" with Ryan since Christie left! Here is the link if you want to see the rest.

http://christiehobson.blogspot.com/2009/08/ryan.html

I'm in Love...

We all are. Completely smitten by this sweet little baby boy. He completes our family in so many ways, and I can't believe that we are lucky enough to have him.

I was thinking back to last August when I started struggling with feelings of wanting another baby. When I was pregnant and so sick with Nathan I told myself that it was the last time. That I couldn't do that to my body or to my family any more. I treasured each little milestone with him, thinking that it would be my last chance to have a baby at each precious stage. I was so sad the last time I nursed him, even when I changed his last diaper. I thought I was okay with three kids. I didn't really have a choice, I had to be okay with three because how could I go through all that again? But then, the aching started. I told myself that I would just have to get over it because another pregnancy just wasn't possible.

This went on for months, and although I tried to busy myself with other things, reminding myself often of how grateful I was for the three sweeties I had been blessed with, the feeling kept gnawing at me. I wondered why it was so strong, and how long it could go on. I prayed for an answer, but nothing seemed clear.

About a week before Christmas I started feeling so tired. For a few days I figured I had just completely worn myself out with all of the busyness of the holidays. But then I got really tired, and I started to be suspicious. On a trip to Target I grabbed a "test"...actually the 2-pack because it was a better deal. :) I was shaking as I waited for the results, so afraid either way. My mind raced with what one or the other would mean. I could hardly bring myself to look, but when I did I was filled with instant relief. Negative. I wouldn't spend the next several months in bed, excruciatingly sick. Then the sadness...we wouldn't be getting a baby either.

After a few days I forgot about it in all the craziness of getting ready for our big Utah trip. By the time we got up there I was exhausted, I and spent the entire vacation trying to rest and recover from our busy month. Every day I grew more and more tired. We all got a little stomach bug the day after Christmas, and my stomach never quite felt the same after that. By New Year's Eve I was worried. I felt awful. There was really something wrong with me, and I needed to make an appointment with the doctor. The next day the thought occurred to me that I should try the other "test." Again, the shaking, the waiting, but this time the result was different. And then I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I knew what this meant. Months in bed. Months of missing out on life. Months of being horribly sick. But it also meant that we were getting a baby. I knew in my heart that this was the answer I'd been seeking, and that this little baby was meant to come to our family. I was excited and terrified all at the same time.

The last eight months have been very hard. I knew it would be worth it, but I just didn't know how worth it until they laid this baby boy on my tummy just seconds after his birth. I cried again, so grateful for this last chance to have a baby in our home. He is amazingly sweet and so precious...straight from heaven. We are lucky to have you, Ryan. We love you. Thanks for coming to our family!

Baby Ryan

We can't get enough of him!!!

He's Here!!!

Ryan Blain Jones

August 20, 2009

5:11 a.m.

6 lbs. 7 oz.

17-1/2 inches

Super Cute....

Pictures coming soon!

Getting Close...

I've tried to be better about documenting this pregnancy than I was with the others. I don't really have any pictures of myself pregnant with the other kids...maybe two or three at the most. Let's just say that I don't feel super cute with all of the nasty stuff I go through, so it didn't really cross my mind to pull out the camera! This time I had Anna or Aimee take a picture every few weeks, just to remember. Regardless of how difficult they are, these pregnancies have brought me the sweetest kids ever. That's definitely something to be sentimental about! So, here is a "belly picture" of me at about 36 weeks.

I went to the doctor last Friday and I was dialated to a "3"....yay! I know we may have to wait for this little guy a while longer, but it's nice to know that things are actually starting to progress. I've had some false labor here and there, but nothing too crazy. I don't do well with the "having no idea when the baby will come" part of pregnancy. I am a planner, so the not knowing drives me nuts! I'm so anxious to bring our baby boy home. Feeling better will be a nice bonus too!

I am really trying to enjoy these last few days, trying to remember the aches and pains that belong only to pregnancy. I love feeling the baby's kicks and stretches. I love having Nathan run in first thing in the morning and give my tummy (baby brother) a kiss. The anticipation of it all is exciting and I know that, despite how hard it is now, when it is all over I will be sad if I haven't "lived in the moment" enough.

I read a quote the other day by Elder Maxwell that said "Faith in God includes faith in His timing." So, I'm trying very hard to have patience and faith in His timing! I was reading the August Ensign article by Henry B. Eyring telling about an experience when he in essence "left home" to become an adult. It kind of put the timing of everything into perspective for me. He says:

Parting can be hard, particularly when the parent and the child know that they may not see each other for a long time. I had that experience with my father. We parted on a street corner in New York City. He had come there for his work. I was there on my way to another place. We both knew that I probably would never return to live with my parents under the same roof again.
It was a sunny day, around noontime, the streets crowded with cars and pedestrians. On that particular corner there was a traffic light which stopped the cars in all directions for a few minutes. The light changed to red; the cars stopped. The crowd of pedestrians hurried off the curbs, moving every way, including diagonally, across the intersection.
The time had come for parting, and I started across the street. I stopped almost in the center, with people rushing by me. I turned to look back. Instead of moving off in the crowd, my father was still standing on the corner looking at me. To me he seemed lonely and perhaps a little sad. I wanted to go back to him, but I realized the light would change and so I turned and hurried on.
Years later I talked to him about that moment. He told me that I had misread his face. He said he was not sad; he was concerned. He had seen me look back, as if I were a little boy, uncertain and looking for assurance. He told me in those later years that the thought in his mind had been: “Will he be all right? Have I taught him enough? Is he prepared for whatever may lie ahead?”
There were more than thoughts in his mind. I knew from having watched him that he had feelings in his heart. He yearned for me to be protected, to be safe. I had heard and felt that yearning in his prayers—and even more in the prayers of my mother—for all the years I had lived with them. I had learned from that, and I remembered....

...We lived in [Heavenly Father's] presence before we came here to be tested. We knew His face, and He knew ours. Just as my earthly father watched me go away from him, our Father in Heaven watched us go into mortality.

This little guy is getting ready to take one of the biggest steps of his eternal life. What a brave little spirit! I certainly don't want to rush him away from Heaven before he is ready. These thoughts make it a little easier to wait. I know he will come when he is ready. I am grateful for all I have learned from the past eight months. And I am especially grateful to have another baby coming to our family. What a sweet blessing!